Keep Breathing
by Luvfantic
Summary: Sara is having a rough day, little does she know that it is about to get much worse. Nick is there to offer support! Nick/Sara
1. Chapter 1

Title – Keep Breathing

Category – Sara/Nick Romance, Thriller

Rating – PG

Disclaimer – I do not own CSI or any of its characters.

Author's notes – I haven't written any fanfic for years and have missed episodes of CSI so please excuse any mistakes regarding genuine storylines etc.

Sara Sidle sat in the break room with a large cup of extra strong coffee. Double shifts were easy when you were busy but when you were sitting around waiting for results to come through they really dragged. There was a big pile of paperwork that she could be getting on with but she just couldn't be bothered right now. She took a gulp of her coffee and gazed mindlessly at the TV. She knew what the problem was of course – it was her anniversary, or it should have been. It was not that she was upset as such, just that her mind seemed to be distracted by memories of Gil. She let out a long sigh just as Nick Stokes walked into the room.

"Hey, this should give you some energy," he said as he tossed a snickers in at her. He gave her a genuine smile as he sat down opposite her. "You ok?" Nick asked worriedly. He was well aware what today was but he didn't want to upset her.

"Just fed up," she smiled back. "Is it just me or has this case been a little too straight-forward?"

"I know what you mean," Nick chuckled. "How often do we have video evidence of a murder and no actual investing to do?"

"If all cases were like this I think that I would be seriously bored with our job," sighed Sara. She took her last gulp of coffee and stood to get a refill. "You want a coffee?" she asked already knowing the answer. She filled two mugs and handed one to Nick then broke the Snickers in two, handing half to her friend. "Nick, why have you stayed in Las Vegas?" she quizzed.

"Huh?" mumbled Nick with his mouth still full.

"I just wondered why you have never moved on, maybe back to Texas. You're a good CSI, you could be climbing up the career ladder. You've never mentioned going for any promotions?" She tilted her head to the left and looked intently into Nick's brown eyes.

"You trying to get rid of me Sidle?" he asked in his deep, Texan accent which Sara secretly loved listening to. He knew that there was more to Sara's question than wondering about his career aspirations.

"Of course not," she laughed, "but when I started here we were so full of plans. Remember when you, Warrick and I made our fifteen year plan, I don't remember us saying that we wanted to be in exactly the same place." Sara saw the familiar wave of sadness wash over Nick's face at the mention of Warrick. "God, I'm sorry Nick, I guess I'm just in a reflective mood tonight, it would be Grissom and mines anniversary today if…" she stopped herself there.

"I remembered," smiled Nick genuinely. He looked at his fellow CSI and felt an urge to give her a huge hug. He sensed that she didn't really want to discuss Grissom and turned the subject back to her initial question. "I don't know Sara, I guess nothing ever turns out like you plan it. If Warrick were here I'd like to think he would be where he had planned though."

Sara laughed, "He wanted to be Sheriff."

Nick couldn't help but chuckle. He missed Warrick everyday but he liked remembering him. Sara seemed to understand this, she talked about him a lot. He thought about what Sara had been asking and worried about what she was pondering. For some reason he was reluctant to ask her what was on her mind. "Are you thinking of moving on Sara?"

She looked down at her coffee and sighed. "I don't know, maybe. My old boss from San Francisco is hiring and wants me to interview. I guess I'm considering it, it would be more money and a real chance to further my career. I don't really have any ties to Vegas anymore so a part of me thinks why not."

Nick's heart sank, he selfishly did not want Sara to leave again. He had missed her terribly when she left before. He figured that it was because they were the only two original members of the team left. He was considering what he could say to make her change her mind when Greg bounced into the break room.

"Hey guys, your relief is here," he smiled. "DB called and asked if I'd come in to let you both go home. I'm not surprised, you both look like crap."

"Geez, thanks Greg," Sara and Nick said in unison. They didn't need to be told twice though, they quickly filled Greg in on the case then made a quick exit. Nick wasn't quite sure what to say to Sara, as he walked her to her car.

"Why don't we go and get something to eat?" he asked hopefully. He didn't think that she should be on her own tonight, not on her and Grissom's anniversary. He hoped that her sudden desire to leave Vegas had been brought on by the date and not because she genuinely wanted to go. She looked at him intently, smiled and gave him a quick hug.

"I'd like to Nick but I'm really tired, I think I'll just go home and jump into bed," Sara got into her car. "I'll see you tomorrow".

Nick watched her car until it was out of sight, he wished that she had come with him for food. He decided that he would make sure he would speak to her the next day and try to cheer her up, a few drinks after work would help her open up. He got into his car and decided that he would stop for some take-out on the way home.

While Nick was choosing what toppings he wanted on his pizza Sara just opened the door to her apartment. She turned on the lights, picked up her mail and headed straight for the fridge to pour herself a large glass of pinot. She sifted through bills and junk mail then suddenly a crisp white envelope caught her eye. The delivery details had been typed out but it wasn't this that had grabbed her attention, it was the name.

_Star Sidle._

Sara heart raced and she felt a cold sweat cover her entire body. Nobody had called her that in twenty years. She opened the envelope with shaking hands willing it to be a mistake. It wasn't. What she read made her legs crumble beneath her and she hit the cold, tiled floor with a thud.

_I'm back._


	2. Chapter 2

Title – Keep Breathing

Category – Sara/Nick Romance, Thriller

Rating – PG

Disclaimer – I do not own CSI or any of its characters.

Author's notes – I haven't written any fanfic for years and have missed episodes of CSI so please excuse any mistakes regarding genuine storylines etc.

Chapter 2

Sara's mind was racing as she sat, leaning against the breakfast bar for support. She read and reread the paper which was in her trembling hand. The words did not change no matter how much she willed them to. A sudden, chilling realisation took her – if he knew her address then he could be in the apartment. Very slowly she stood up and looked around the open plan living area. Sara could not see anything out of order. Adrenaline took over her body and her eyes darted towards the front door. She raced towards it, grabbing her car keys as she let herself out. She ran down the stairs and out of the building. Her hand was still shaking as she fumbled to press the button on the key remote. As she reached the car she pulled the door open, flung herself in then locked the car as quickly as she could. Her breathing was rapid and her heart was racing. _I have to check the car, _she thought to herself. She turned around and pulled herself up slightly to give herself a better view of the back seats.

"Ok, that's clear," she said out loud in an attempt to calm herself down. She maneuverer herself into the back seats and peered into the trunk. Luckily she had forgotten to reattach the shelf after doing a mammoth shop the week before. "Thank God," she sighed as she saw it was empty and she allowed herself a split second to relax.

Sara got herself back in to the driving seat, turned on the engine and skilfully reversed out of the parking space. _Just drive,_ she ordered herself. Her eyes were glued to her rear view mirror but she saw no evidence that she was being followed. _How is this possible, he's dead? He can't be back. _

A ring from her pocket disturbed her thoughts. She pulled her cell out of her pocket and was relieved to see that it was Nick calling. She did not condone taking calls while driving but this was an exceptional circumstance.

"Nick," she said simply as she accepted the call. Nick felt slightly upset by her curt response. Maybe he shouldn't've called, she had said that she just wanted to go home and sleep.

"Hi Sara, I just wanted to make sure you're ok. You seemed so down earlier?" Nick didn't want to sound like he was worried but, hey, he was. The last time Sara had been noticeably upset about Grissom she ended up being accused of murder. Sara said nothing. "Sara, you there?" he asked.

"Yeah," was all that she could manage to reply. Nick really was worried now. She seemed terribly distant.

"Ok, so I could come over. I've just bought the hugest pizza ever, and there is not an ounce of meat on it." There was no reply. "I have garlic bread too, and I will stop off and get a bottle of your favourite wine." Sara could hear Nick smiling as he talked.

"No, I'll come to yours Nick," was her response. She couldn't keep driving all night she thought to herself. She looked in her mirrors again to convince herself that there was nobody behind her. She took a big breath and slowly released it in an attempt to relax.

"Great, see you soon," Nick grinned as he rang off. He was sure she needed company and was glad she had accepted. He only hoped that he hadn't been too pushy. A few minutes later Nick drove up to his house and was surprised that Sara was there first. She got out of her car and looked all around her.

"That was quick" he said. She gave him a blank expression and he frowned a little. They walked to the door together and he handed her the boxes as he fumbled for his keys. As they stepped in they were greeted by a loud bark which made Sara jump, she had forgotten all about Nick's dog.

"Hey Sam, have you been a good dog?" Nick asked as he typed the code into his security system. Sara absent mindlessly put her hand down to pat him, she loved dogs. Nick took the take out boxes from Sara and walked into the kitchen. Sara followed and sat down at the counter, gazing out of the window into the darkness. Before he opened the pizza box be took two glasses out of the cupboard and went to the fridge for a bottle of white wine. He poured them each a glass and handed one to Sara. She forced a smile and took a gulp. Nick pulled a scribbled note from the fridge door, "Maggie says you've been fed already pal." Maggie and her family lived next door and treated Sam like their own dog when Nick wasn't around, her kids loved him, he explained to Sara.

"That's good," Sara replied. She felt extremely on edge and her heart was still racing. She took another sip of wine, the warming effect was helping her to relax ever so slightly. Nick handed her a napkin and opened the boxes, he took a slice and practically polished it off in one bite. Sara automatically picked up a slice and took a bite. It seemed to stick in her throat. She laid it down and took another long gulp of wine.

Nick was really worried now, he noticed she was shaking and had her brown, bright eyes appeared vacant. He noticed her glass was almost empty so poured her more, he hoped it might help her relax.

"Sara, are you ok?" Nick asked with genuine concern. "Has something happened?"

"I've just had a reminder of something I'd rather forget," she glanced at Nick then back to the window. She noticed that they looked as if they were alarmed. Nick followed her gaze and felt the need to explain.

"I went a little overboard with security after the coffin incident," he joked. "This house is like Fort Knox, especially with Sam here now." Sara nodded as she suddenly realised that Nick understood what it was like to be scared, really scared. She felt a sudden epiphany with him.

"I think that's understandable Nick. Anything to help you sleep easy at night," she looked him in the eye. "Do you sleep ok Nick?" Nobody had asked him that before.

"Most of the time," he replied truthfully. He suspected that Sara had been bothered with sleepless nights herself. "What is it that's shaken you up Sara?" Sara knew that she could trust Nick, being with him made her feel calmer. A part of her was desperate to tell him everything but she was so overwhelmed that she didn't know where to begin. She looked down at her hands and began to nervously wring them together.

"Somebody from my past has gotten in touch." Nick knew that he couldn't press Sara too hard for more facts. Instead he wanted her to know she could open up to him. To do this he decided to open up to her.

"I lied to you a minute ago, I have nightmares, bad nightmares," he confessed. "I don't know if they will ever stop." Sara looked at him intently, she felt an urge to say or do something to make it all better for him. "I just want you to know that I understand about being haunted by ghosts from the past."

Sara began to relax a little and Nick suggested that they take their drinks through to the living room. Sam followed them through and lunged onto Sara's lap as soon as she sat down on the sofa. Nick sat down beside her.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," Nick said softly

"I'm probably overreacting," the thought out loud. She rested her hand on Sam's soft fur, thinking how lovely it must be to have a dog.

"Well why don't you tell me and I'll give you my thoughts," he knew Sara and he had never seen her in such a state. She was definitely not overreacting.

"My husband sent me a note," Sara said as she lifted her gaze to assess Nick's reaction.

"I don't understand. What has Grissom said that's upset you so much?" he put his hand on Sara's back to comfort her. He was seriously angry at his old boss right now.

"Not Grissom, Nick, my first husband. My first husband who died twenty-six years ago."


	3. Chapter 3

Title – Keep Breathing

Category – Sara/Nick Romance, Thriller

Rating – PG

Disclaimer – I do not own CSI or any of its characters.

Author's notes – I haven't written any fanfic for years and have missed episodes of CSI so please excuse any mistakes regarding genuine storylines etc.

This chapter drags a bit but wanted to get the back story done in one go! Hope you like.

Chapter 3

Nick couldn't believe what he was hearing. She had been married before, he had come back from the dead? All sorts of questions were running through his head but he said nothing, he was absolutely gobsmacked.

"I got a letter in the mail today, he called me a name that only he would use. All it said was _I'm back. _I'm so confused." Tears rolled down Sara's face, Nick instinctively put his hand on Sara's face and used his thumb to catch a tear. It was an intimate act and he felt a wave of embarrassment role over him. Sara didn't mind though, she felt his touch comforting. Nick moved his hand and picked up his wine glass. He needed a drink, maybe he should look for something stronger.

"Sara," was all he could say. He really was shocked be her revelation. He looked at her again and noticed that she didn't look like her usual self. Gone was the strong, self-reliant woman he knew. She looked broken and frightened. "I mean, how did he die? Could he really be alive?"

"He was shot, I saw it happen," she said. Memories of that night came flooding back, memories which had been buried for years. She had made a new life for herself, she had picked herself up and made something of herself. Everyone had said she would amount to nothing but she had done her upmost to prove them wrong.

"I'm so sorry Sara," his heart broke as he thought of Sara losing her husband so young.

"You don't understand Nick, I hated him," she sighed. "I hated him so much, I was glad he was gone from my life." Sara looked him in the eye, expecting him to be repulsed by such a terrible confession. Instead all she saw was compassion and concern. Nick moved closer to Sara so he was sitting right beside her, and he put an arm around her to comfort her. He desperately wanted to make her feel better. "Don't you think that I'm awful?" she asked him.

"I know you Sara, I know that you would not hate anyone unless they deserved it. If you hated him, why did you marry him?" he asked.

"I don't know where to start," she said.

"The beginning?" Nick suggested gently. He didn't want to push her but the only way he could help her was if she told him what was going on.

So she began to tell him. She had been sixteen when she met him, she was in foster care with an amazing family and had just graduated from high school. She had a scholarship to Harvard – her life finally seemed to be going well. Mark Jeffries was a rookie cop and she'd met him while she worked at the local diner. Sara had served him and they started talking, he was charming and smart. He was twenty five and seemed much more on her wave length than guys her own age.

Around the same time a couple of local women had gone missing. It wasn't like Vegas she told Nick, when someone went missing everybody knew about it. One night Sara had walked home after a late shift, she was tired and she took a shortcut. She had been stupid. She was grabbed from behind and pushed to the ground. He had raped her.

Sara heard Nick's sudden intake of breath, his blood was boiling at the thought of someone hurting Sara so terribly. He wanted to say something that could help with the pain but he knew that no words could help. Sara leaned forward to get her wine glass. Her throat was dry and she needed a break from telling the story. She hated that these memories could still affect her this much. It was a lifetime ago she told herself. Sara finished the glass of wine. "I'll get more," said Nick as he began to rise.

"No, it's ok Nick," she smiled gently. She was comforted by his arm which was still tightly cradling her and she didn't want him to move. Sara put the glass down and her hand instinctively went back to gently stroking Sam who had not moved from her other side.

Afterwards, Mark visited her daily at the hospital. He brought her presents or books to try and keep her mind off of things. He helped her get back on her feet both physically and emotionally. She began to depend on him - he had liked that, she recalled bitterly. Mark would insist on driving her to and from work, Sara liked how protective of her he had become. She had forgotten how nice it felt to have someone watch out for her like that. One night she had finished early and couldn't get hold of Mark. Her friend Chris from school had been in the diner and offered to take her home, Mark had been a little angry that she hadn't waited for him but was relieved she had gotten home ok. Two days later Chris was found dead from a drug overdose, she had known that he smoked marijuana occasionally but Sara had not realised how deeply Chris had gotten involved with drugs. She had struggled with such a devastating blow so soon after her attack but Mark was such an incredible support. Her foster parents and foster brother David had were concerned by the control which Mark seems to have over her but she wouldn't listen. She would not have been able to get through the last few months without him she had told them truthfully.

When Mark had asked her to marry him she had said "yes" straightaway. She needed him, she told herself. Mark didn't want her to tell anyone so they eloped, much to everyone's horror, especially David's. When they returned home she moved into his house. Not long after this Mark began to change, he became more and more controlling and possessive. He would do everything possible to distance her from her family and friends. They had planned to move to Boston so Sara could start College in the fall but he convinced her to take a year out of her studies so that he could advance his career. His dad was a respected police officer and he wanted to make him proud. Mark had wanted Sara to give up working in the diner but she refused, she liked working there and she had to do something she told him. That's when the letters started she told Nick. The first one had simply said _I'm watching you. _Sara had been petrified, she was sure it was from her rapist. More letters followed and with each one she became more and more scared. Mark used this fear to convince Sara that she should quit work and stay at home. For months Sara received threatening letters, Mark told her not to tell anyone – he would deal with it. She became too scared to leave the house, how stupid she had been to not to see what he was doing to her.

Sara found out the truth by accident. She had been doing Mark's laundry and found an old bag stuffed behind the dryer. Inside there were three necklaces, one was hers - it had belonged to her grandmother. It had been ripped from her neck by her rapist.

"I knew instantly that it had been Mark, it all made sense in a weird way. I think maybe I'd had suspicions about him before but I'd made myself ignore them," Sara smiled sadly at Nick. "He'd raped me and then written me all of those awful letters to scare me into staying at home. He did it all to control me."

"How could he do that Sara, attack you and then marry you," Nick was shaking his head in disbelief. It was too much to comprehend.

"Come on Nick, every day we see people do heinous things to each other, people they hate and people they love," she looked at the empty wine glass. "Any chance of that refill now?" she asked politely.

"Um, sure," Nick said as he reluctantly moved from Sara's side. Her warmth lingered on his body as he went through to the kitchen. He stood at the counter for a second processing everything that Sara had told him. He desperately wanted to comfort her, to tell her that he understood how it felt to have your trust betrayed so horrifically but now was not the time. He knew that Sara had not finished telling him what had happened and he did not want to leave her for long. He grabbed a bottle of whisky that his dad had left and filled a couple of glasses with ice. "I thought something stronger might help," he said gently as he sat on the sofa next to Sara. He wanted to return to sitting with his arm behind her but instead sat at a more appropriate distance while he handed her a generously filled glass.

"Thank you Nicky," she said graciously. She had not called him that for a long time, he thought to himself. Sara took a long sip of whisky, "mmm, that's good stuff."

"It's my dad's, I don't think he'll mind," Nick took a gulp and chocked. His cheeks turned red, more out of embarrassment than anything else. Sara patted him playfully on the back. They both smiled at each other. "So what happened next, how did he get shot?"

"I panicked, I couldn't phone the police – he was one of the boys and I was sure they would protect him. I rang my foster brother and told him what I'd found, he told me not to move till he came and got me. Unfortunately Mark had come home and heard me on the phone. He told me that I shouldn't have been snooping, that I'd made a big mistake telling David. He was so calm, Nick, as if your wife finds out that you're a rapist every day. He told me that I'd been lucky, he had planned to kill me like the others but he couldn't do it. He said that I was 'special' and that he'd even gone to the trouble of getting rid of my friend so that he could have me all to himself. It was then that I realised he'd murdered Chris too. He took his gun out and held it against my chest, he told me that we were going to have to leave town. I told him that he was mad and that he could kill me before I went anywhere with him. He just laughed, he said he'd known that I was fighter the night that he raped me. I was suddenly full of anger, I hit back – hard. If there had been anything that I had learned from my father it was how to hit. He was out cold so I grabbed the gun. I swear Nick, I could have done it, I could have shot him."

"You didn't?" Nick asked. He had investigated hundreds of murders but if there was one that was justified it would've been this one.

"I couldn't," Sara shook her head. She still couldn't work out why she hadn't killed him. "I stood with the gun aimed at him yet I couldn't pull the trigger. It was then that David showed up, he let himself in and saw Mark on the floor. He gave me a huge hug and then took the gun out of my hand. David was the biggest softy ever, he could never hurt a fly. But Mark woke up, somehow he had a tight hold of me and he told David that he was going to snap my neck." Sara sighed and took another sip of the whisky, "David fired the gun and Mark went down. Blood soaked the front of his uniform and he was clutching at his chest. David dropped the gun and grabbed me, we left the house and went for help."

"Oh my God Sara, why did you never tell me about all this before?" Nick said taking Sara's hand in his. There were so many things that made sense now, Sara's determination to see justice done, her hatred of domestic violence.

"I guess it never came up in conversation," Sara joked. "I mean seriously, how do you tell people that you married your rapist who was also a murderer? Especially in our line of work. I was so, so stupid."

"You were sixteen and after the most horrific start in life you picked yourself up and became the most incredible person I know," Nick said honestly.

"Geez, you're really good at this pep talk thing, aren't you Nick?" she laughed.

"Sara, did Mark definitely die?" asked Nick. There were a lot of questions going around his head but first and foremost he wanted to know who was trying to scare his friend.

"When David and I went to our foster parents they called the police, they found Mark dead at the house. Nothing could be proven though Nick, not back then. The missing girl's bodies were never found and nobody could pin Chris's death on Mark. All charges were dropped and David was never even arrested. My family thought it would be best for me to get away so they enquired if I'd be able to start the year a few weeks late at Harvard. Luckily they said 'yes' and I went. I went Nick and I didn't look back, not until now." Once again her eyes filled with tears. "If we were investigating the case now we would have it wrapped in a night," she said sadly. The girl's families who were never found would have closure and Chris's mom would have answers.

"What about your brother, I've never heard you mention him?" Nick quizzed.

"I lost touch with him and my foster family, I hate myself for it. He saved my life yet I don't know where he is." They had both finished their whisky so Sara topped them up. The alcohol had definitely helped take the edge off her nerves, she had stopped shaking and was feeling an overwhelming sense of relief by unburdening herself on Nick. Although nothing had been solved she felt a lot better.

"We have to think of this like CSI's Sara, we're good at this sort of thing," Nick's head was beginning to become fuzzy with the liquor. "Where's the letter, maybe there will be some answers there?"

"At my apartment, I think I dropped it."

"Ok, so tomorrow we will get it and check it for DNA. It is probably some jerk that we've pissed off trying to scare you," Nick wasn't so sure but he didn't want Sara to know that he was worried. "I'm going to let Sam out the back then we're going to get some sleep. I'll sort out the spare room for you," he gave Sara another hug before taking the dog to the back door. When he returned to the lounge Sara had fallen asleep. He pulled a blanket from the back of the sofa and placed it gently over her. Her hair had fallen over her face so he carefully pulled it back behind her ear. There was a great deal about Sara's story that didn't make any sense to him. Why had Sara's brother not been arrested after shooting a police officer? Why had there not more of an investigation after the murdered girl's necklaces had been found?

Nick sat down on the other sofa and finished his whisky, Sam jumped up beside him. He decided that they were going to get answers, it was the only way that he could make sure that Sara was safe. He realised he was mesmerised by Sara's sleeping body_. God Nick, what are you thinking,_ he asked himself. _She's your friend. She was your friend's wife._ He told himself that he'd had too much to drink and that he was just feeling protective of his her. He closed his eyes as tiredness took over his body, before he knew it he was also asleep.

As Nick and Sara slept, someone sat in their hotel room writing a letter addressed to 'Star Sidle.' The letter simply said _I'm coming to see you._


	4. Chapter 4

Title – Keep Breathing

Category – Sara/Nick Romance, Thriller

Rating – PG

Disclaimer – I do not own CSI or any of its characters.

Author's notes – I haven't written any fanfic for years and have missed episodes of CSI so please excuse any mistakes regarding genuine storylines etc.

Nick was woken by the sound Sam's barking from the kitchen. He took a second to remember why he was sleeping in the lounge, then everything that had happened the previous evening hit him. The smell of bacon was wafting through the house and Nick couldn't help but wonder what was going on in his kitchen. As he walked to the kitchen door he smiled at the sight he saw, Sara was sitting on one of the bar stools feeding Sam little bits of bacon. When Sara saw Nick approaching she gave him a sheepish look and then gently laughed.

"I couldn't resist giving him some, he just kept on looking at me with those big, brown eyes," she stood up hoping that Nick wouldn't be mad, some people were really funny about what their dogs ate.

"You have a friend for life now, you know," he said as he glanced around the kitchen, taking in the sight he saw. On the stove there were three pans, one appeared to be full of bacon and sausages, one with different kinds of eggs and one had two types of pancakes on the go at the same time. The kitchen counter was set with bagels, toast, and prepared fruits. "Um, Sara what is going on?"

"Oh, I thought that you might be hungry. I kind of ruined your pizza last night so I raided your fridge," she pointed to the bin where she'd dumped the take away boxes. "You have more food in your fridge than mine has in a year," she said jokingly.

"What can I say, I'm a growing boy. We could have just had cereal you know Sara," he took in the sight before him. He didn't know she knew how to turn on the oven let alone juggle three pans at the same time.

Sara looked at the stove, "I'm sorry, I should've asked," she said shyly.

"Are you kidding, I want you to come and make me breakfast every morning. Why the hell did you never tell me that you could cook?" Nick was seriously impressed.

"Well my real parents had a B&B so I helped out with breakfast a lot and I sometimes helped with cooking at the diner when they were short staffed. It's actually pretty easy Nick, it's just about getting your timings right." She picked up a plate in her left hand and skilfully flipped pancakes while filling the plate with bacon, sausage and eggs. She told Nick to sit down as she placed the mountain of food in front of him. His eyes widened and a huge smile engulfed his place, Sara knew that Nick liked his food but she had never seen him look so adoringly at a plate before. She was glad, she had really imposed on him last night – in more ways than one. She went back to the pancakes and turned off the heat, at the same time she pulled the coffee out of the machine in one hand while lifting up a tea pot in the other. "Tea or coffee?" she asked. Nick burst out laughing, he found this Sara highly amusing.

"I'm sorry, it's just…. wow," was all he could say. Sara tilted her head, not understanding what was so funny. "Coffee please," he finally managed to say. He lifted up his fork and knife and began to fill his stomach. Sara was right, he had missed his dinner last night and he was ravenous. Sara sat down after putting some fresh pancakes onto Nick's plate, she lifted a bagel and mindlessly began eating it.

"I'm so sorry about last night, Nick. You asked me if I wanted some take out and I ended up telling you my life story and drinking all of your dad's best whisky. I can't believe I fell asleep too," she was embarrassed and regretful about telling Nick all her worries. Nick shook his head and put down his fork and knife.

"I'm your friend Sara, I care about you and I _want _to know when things happen to you. Good _or_ bad. I'm so glad you told me," he said honestly. He lent over the table slightly and put his hand over hers. "We are going to figure this out, together." He meant it, he wanted to find out who had written that note. He wanted to stop whoever it was from causing Sara any more pain.

Sara smiled, she was suddenly incredibly glad to have Nick Stokes in her life. Just then the oven pinged. "Oh, the muffins," she exclaimed. Nick's jaw dropped, he genuinely was in awe of Sara at that moment. She was like Martha Stewart with a magnifying glass. He didn't say anything, he knew that by keeping herself busy she was delaying having to think about the letter. Nick carried on eating, if it helped Sara to whip up a storm in the kitchen than who was he to stop her, he though contently.

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After breakfast was eaten, Sara insisted on tidying up the dishes while Nick showered. The mundane task of cleaning dishes helped her clear her head. She had managed to sleep a little on Nick's sofa and now felt ready to deal with her past. The letter had thrown her but with Nick's help she felt slightly less scared. When he came back through Sara was sitting looking into space.

"Are you ok?" he asked gently in his southern accent. She nodded but he knew that she wasn't. "Come on, let's go."

Twenty minutes later they stood outside her apartment, they had dropped Sam off at Maggie's house and taken Nick's SUV. Sara put her key in the lock and turned it, anxious as to what she might find on the other side. Nick's hand was inside his jacket pocket, Sara didn't know it but he had taken his gun. His finger moved over the trigger as Sara pushed the door open. Nick gently pushed himself in front of Sara, they were used to putting themselves in danger but this was different – it was personal. He had a quick scan of the main living area before disappearing to check out the other rooms. When he came back to the kitchen area Sara was standing looking down at the floor, a blank expression was etched on her face. He saw a letter and envelope on the floor, he reached into another pocket for a glove and evidence bag and knelt down to pick it up. He looked closely at both the letter and envelope but there was nothing that he thought might help them right now.

"Star?" he asked curiously.

"It was a nickname he gave me, because I was 'star waitress of the month' when I met him. Nobody else has ever called me that, I don't even think anyone would have known about it."

"We need to get someone at the lab to look at this," Nick hoped that there might be some evidence but he was doubtful. People knew all about DNA and finger prints these days so if they were planning on harassing a CSI they were hardly going to make it easy for them to trace them.

"I don't want anyone to know Nick," Sara said quietly whilst shaking her head. "Please don't tell anyone." A lonely tear ran down her left cheek and she looked pleadingly at her friend. So many emotions were hitting her that she couldn't think clearly but she knew that she didn't want anyone else to know her business.

"There could be a clue here Sara," he said gently, "the team would be desperate to help if they knew what was going on."

"Please Nick," she pleaded. He couldn't say no to her, she looked so vulnerable standing there in front of him.

"Ok, but we're still getting it checked. We'll ask Greg to do it." Their fellow CSI was their best ally right now.

"I don't want Greg to get into trouble Nick, I can't ask him to do this. No," she was adamant that she didn't want anyone to risk their career for her.

"Greg thinks the world of you, you know. He would want to help. Besides, nobody will think twice if Greg is skulking around the lab, he's always hanging around in there. He used to be a lab rat remember, it's his natural habitat," he tried to lighten the mood a little. "If anything comes back on Greg I will tell them that I ordered him to do it." Sara sighed and reluctantly agreed, she knew that Greg could be trusted.

"I need to grab a shower first," she smiled at Nick, he was going above and beyond the duty of a friend and colleague right now. She told Nick to make himself at home and went through to her bedroom. She showered then quickly changed into her favourite skinny jeans and pulled on a well-worn, red, long sleeved top. She quickly dried her hair and pulled it up, she didn't even consider straightening her naturally curly hair. The smell of her favourite coffee greeted her as she made her way to the kitchen. Nick glanced up and was struck by how pretty Sara looked with her hair up, red really suits her he thought to himself. He poured her a coffee and handed it to her. He hated to admit it but he was enjoying spending time with Sara, he just wished it were in better circumstances.

Once they had finished their coffees, Nick drove them to the lab. He had phoned Greg to ask him to meet them in the car park and an intrigued Greg was pacing the sidewalk when they arrived.

"Guys, what's going on?" Greg asked as he climbed into the back of Nick's SUV. He was anxious to know why he had been summoned to meet them outside, this was not the norm.

"We need a huge favour Greg, we need some lab work done on the quiet," Nick knew that he was asking a lot but since Sara wouldn't confide in the others he had no choice but to ask Greg to do this.

"Cool, what am I doing?" Greg trusted his two fellow CSI's enough to know that if they were asking him to do something than it was important. Nick handed him the clear bag containing the letter. He glanced at Sara who was watching Greg intently as he had a look at the envelope. Greg read the name and address then looked at Sara.

"Sara, what is this?" a look of concern spread across his face. Sara sighed, she didn't have the energy to tell anyone the story again. She really loved Greg, he was like a little brother to her and they had been through some tough times together. She trusted him completely. So she told him, not everything, some things she couldn't tell but she told him what she could. She had married when she was sixteen and he had turned out to be a murderer, he had died and yet she had received this note – apparently from him. Greg listened and tried to comprehend what he was hearing.

"I'll get on it right away," he opened his door to leave then turned to Sara. "If there is anything, and I mean _anything,_ that I can do to help I will do it." Greg was scared for Sara, he had never seen her look so timid before. He felt quite proud that she had trusted him enough to confide in him. Greg hurried back to the lab to get started on the evidence.

"Right, now we just need to wait for Greg to do his magic," he hoped that Greg would find something to link the letter to some con artist that they could nail for this. "So where do you want to go?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "I'm kind of scared to go home."

"Then we'll head to mine, you'll be safe there," he felt an overwhelming urge to protect her. He ignored the urge to lean over and take her in his arms and instead he drove her back to hers to collect a few essentials. Once there, Nick lazed on the sofa while Sara grabbed her things. She popped her toiletries into a bag then went to the bedroom to find some clothes.

It was then that she saw it. It hadn't been there earlier when she had gotten dressed. Someone had been in her bedroom and laid it on her bed.

"Nick," she cried, "oh my God, Nick there's another one." Nick ran down the short hall to Sara's bedroom. He put his arms around a shaking Sara while he looked at the bed. There lay another envelope, it simply said one word.

_Star._


	5. Chapter 5

Title – Keep Breathing

Category – Sara/Nick Romance, Thriller

Rating – PG

Disclaimer – I do not own CSI or any of its characters.

Author's notes – I haven't written any fanfic for years and have missed episodes of CSI so please excuse any mistakes regarding genuine storylines etc.

Thank you for the reviews guys, it really helps to know people are enjoying what you are writing.

I'm not sure if there are letter boxes in doors in the US but I guess Nick could have ordered his door from the UK. I hope there are not too many other cultural mistakes!

* * *

><p><em>I'm coming to see you. <em>The words sent chills down Nick's spine almost as much as the fact that someone had been in Sara's apartment. Once again his hand darted to the gun in his pocket, he pulled it out this time and motioned to Sara to stay where she was. Quickly and carefully he checked the apartment for the intruder. Once he was satisfied that there was no danger he made his way back to Sara. She stood where he had left her, her eyes wide with fear and shock.

"There's no-one here," he whispered so as not to startle her. He put his hand on her shoulder and told her to finish packing her bag as he took the letter from her trembling fingers and bagged it as he had done with the previous letter only an hour earlier. He understood that Sara was shocked but he did not want to stay in the apartment knowing that whoever was behind this could come back. Nick practically had to carry Sara all the way to his car. He drove quickly, desperate to get her to somewhere safe. He decided that his house was the best option, all of his safety precautions were about to be put to good use. As he drove he glanced over at his friend beside him. She stared blankly into space, she looked confused and frightened. The last letter could have been a joke but this one sounded much more sinister and somebody had actually placed it in Sara's bedroom.

"Sara, this is getting scary now. We have to get the team involved," he gently put his right hand over Sara's left one in an effort to get her to come out of the trance she was in. It seemed to work, she looked at his hand then took it in hers, gripping it tightly. Nick was slightly shocked yet secretly pleased to be holding her hand. She looked over at Nick and forced a smile.

"I'm just so freaked out right now, please just give me a little more time before everyone finds out about everything," she looked at him pleadingly. Nick desperately wanted to involve the crime lab, to find out who was taunting Sara so cruelly but at the same time he wanted to please her, to make her feel better whatever it took.

"We should be getting the second letter tested and your apartment combed for any clues that this creep might have left," he said more to himself than Sara. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze in a silent attempt to make him see how badly she wanted to keep this quiet. He sighed and shook his head, "Ok, but tomorrow we get help with all of this." Sara smiled and nodded in agreement, she was sure that if she had just a little more time she could figure out what this was all about.

Once they reached Nick's house he quickly ushered Sara in and set the security alarm. He instantly felt relief, relief that Sara was safe and nobody could get to her there. He sighed, he wishing that he could be doing something, anything to find out who was writing the letters but if he couldn't do that he would do his best to help Sara through this. "I'm going to phone DB and tell him we won't be in tonight." As if reading Sara's mind he quickly said, "don't worry, I'll tell him that we both came down with some horrible, contagious bug." She nodded sadly, wishing that they didn't need to lie to their colleagues.

After calling DB, Nick's cell rang, it was Greg. Two sets of fingerprints had come back but they matched young, female postal worker's prints from Las Vegas, they could probably be ruled out they agreed. The letter had been posted in Vegas on a kind of stationary that could be bought at just about any store. Nick confided in Greg about the second letter and the break in at Sara's apartment. Greg wanted to go and investigate immediately but Nick explained Sara's reluctance and told Greg that they should respect Sara's privacy for the time being.

"Take care of her Nick," Greg said as he ended the call. Greg thought the world of Sara, he'd had a major crush on her when she's first come to the lab and if he was honest with himself he probably still carried a torch for her. She had mentored him when he'd first started out in the field and she took him a lot more seriously than the others did. They had been through some difficult times together, from the explosion in the lab through to being quarantined together more recently. He wished that he could be there for her right now but he was glad that Nick was with her. Greg knew that Sara had been evasive about her past but never in his wildest dreams had he imagined that she had been married, especially to such a monster. He promised himself that they would catch this jerk, Sara wouldn't have to worry for much longer.

Sara sat curled up on Nick's comfy sofa, she hugged her legs to her chest in an attempt to comfort herself. Nick told her what Greg had said and she had been relieved, relieved of what she wasn't sure but she was glad Greg hadn't told them that Mark's fingerprints were all over the letter. She didn't even know if Mark's fingerprints would even be on file anywhere but at least her worst fears hadn't been confirmed. When Nick came back through he brought sandwiches and beers.

"It's not a patch on your breakfast but it's the best I can do," he joked, he wasn't much of a cook, he was more of a 'heater-up-er'. The only reason his fridge was packed full of groceries was because his Mom had been down for a visit at the weekend. Sara picked at her sandwich, not because it wasn't nice but because she didn't have much of an appetite. Nick and Sara spent the next few hours discussing past cases where the suspects or their families may have held a personal grudge against her. They soon realised that there were too many to count and besides, she had difficulty seeing how anyone who hadn't known her before college could have found out about her past. It just had to be an aggrieved suspect playing with her though, she concluded. Nothing else made sense. Nick nodded but he had a hunch that this had a lot more to do with Sara's past than her present.

Before they knew it, it was dinner time. Sara insisted on cooking so Nick poured them some wine then sat and watched her at work. She really was quite at home in the kitchen, he thought to himself in amazement. Maggie had dropped Sam home earlier and he was looking up at a cooking Sara with adoring eyes.

"You know boy, she's not cooking any meat on there," he said when Sam started sniffing at the stove.

"Just because it's vegetarian doesn't mean it's not incredible," she teased back. Twenty minutes later she pulled the cannelloni out of the oven and placed it beside the salad and bread that she had laid out. She plated it up for them and watched with raised eyebrows as Nick took his first, tentative bite.

"Ok, this is good, really good. I can't believe you have been hiding your talent from me." She smiled, she suspected that somewhere, buried very deep inside he was a chef waiting to be released.

After dinner they tidied up the kitchen together and fed Sam some leftovers, he seemed to enjoy Sara's cooking as much as Nick did. Sara made some amazing Irish coffees with the last of Nick's dad's whisky and then they sat down in the lounge. Considering everything that was going on Sara felt quite chilled, Nick seemed to be having a calming effect on her, the alcohol was helping too she thought.

Sara looked at Nick as he took a sip of the hot drink, she was lucky to have such a good friend. Nick had had tough times too, she reluctantly remembered the time he had been stalked and the time he was shot in the shoulder. She did her best not to even bring to mind the time when that lunatic had buried him alive, it hurt too much.

"Are you thinking about the letters again?" Nick asked seeing the look of pain on Sara's face.

"Um, no, I was just remembering some hard things," she replied truthfully. "Thank you for today Nick, you have gone above and beyond the duty of a fellow CSI."

"You really have to stop thanking me Sara, we've been friends for a long time and I would do anything for you," he was slightly embarrassed by what he had said but he meant it. She had no idea how much he meant it. _Don't go there, _he told himself. It was too late though, he was already remembering feelings which he had been keeping buried for years. He had liked Sara from the moment he met her, she was smart and sassy and he had considered asking her out. The problem was that he had the reputation of being a total playboy. He decided to play the long game, to let her see that he was actually a nice guy. He waited too long though as before he knew it that jerk Hank was on the scene, he'd known what he was like as soon as he'd met him. He'd grinned and bared it, telling himself that she would see through Hank and he would finally have a chance. When this happened though she had been so hurt he had only been able to comfort her as a friend. It was during this time that Nick realised that Sara was in love with Grissom. For years he watched them dance around each other and eventually, during Sara's kidnapping he had found out that Sara and Grissom were together. This had hurt but the pain was eclipsed by the fact that she was in serious danger. Nick had been the one to find her, in the desert. He remembered it like it was yesterday, he and Sofia seeing her lifeless body there in the sand. He couldn't remember running to her, he only recalled the pure joy he felt when he had realised she was alive. When her and Grissom became engaged he tried to be happy for them, he told himself that if she was happy than so was he. After leaving Vegas for a while she eventually married Grissom, he finally laid his feelings to rest and tried to get on with his life. Yet here she was, separated from Grissom. Nick could pinpoint the exact time that he had fallen in love with Sara Sidle. It was the day she had met Hank, they had been working the case with the decomp in the bag and they were in the lab processing a jacket. She had been sick and then turned to him, cheeks red and a look of complete embarrassment in her eyes. She had him from there. Nobody knew. He had known nothing would ever come from his infatuation yet he couldn't stop it. He loved her. Sitting in his lounge with Sara beside him was bliss, he thought, this is how life could have been. He picked up his coffee and took another long gulp. Stop this, he told himself, nothing will ever come of it. Sam sat beside Sara, Nick knew how much she loved animals and the feeling was clearly reciprocated as Sam happily sat with his head perched on legs.

As Sara sat watching Nick drink his coffee she too was thinking about their relationship. Sara had liked Nick instantly when she had met him, he was kind and friendly with an amazing smile. They had worked loads of cases together and were a good team. She enjoyed the flirty relationship that they had but had never seriously considered Nick in a romantic was. She was seriously shocked to realise that she was now thinking of Nick like that. She laughed at herself for doing so, it was only because he was being so damn lovely to her, she was incredibly grateful – plus she realised that they had been drinking since lunchtime, this coffee had to be the last one she told herself. She found herself relaxing and was now thinking a lot more clearly. Talking with Nick had encouraged her to think about things in a more subjective way, as if she was dealing with a case and not her own personal drama. She realised that she had to listen to Nick and deal with this sensibly. Tomorrow she would tell DB and the girls about the letters and let them help her figure this out.

As if reading her mind Nick chimed in. "None of it was your fault you know, being raped, marrying that bastard, it was all on him. You have nothing to be ashamed of." He had summed up how she was feeling in one word, ashamed. She felt that she should have known, realised who Mark was sooner. She had been blind.

"I just feel like I should have done something differently," she said.

"Stop it Sara," he got up from his seat and moved over to beside Sara, he took her head in his hands and made her look him in the eyes. "You were sixteen for God's sake, you were attacked and you were vulnerable. He saw that in you and he used it. If you were investigating yourself all those years ago what would you see, you would see a young girl who met a monster but who came out the other side stronger for it. Look at yourself, you help people who have been victims like you were, you used what he did for good." Sara smiled and gently laughed.

"You're really good at this pep talk thing, aren't you?" She tilted her head slightly and kept his gaze. He really did have gorgeous eyes she thought. Nick smiled, he seemed to have forgotten what he was about to say and was suddenly lost for words. His hands were still gently cradling Sara's face and he looked intently into her eyes. There seemed to be a connection between them at that moment, a connection that he had never felt with anyone before. His eyes dropped to her lips, wondering what it would be like to kiss her. He wished that he could tell what Sara was thinking, if she was feeling what he was feeling at that moment. Should he take a risk and tell her how he felt or would that ruin a friendship that had taken fifteen years to build. Being so close to her, touching her like this brought up feelings that he had hidden for so long. Sara took in a sharp intake of breath, she pulled her head back slightly forcing him to remove his hands from her face. The moment was lost forever and he cursed himself for not grasping it. He was nervous now, worried that Sara could somehow tell what he had been thinking.

"I um, do you want another coffee, or um anything else?" he mumbled as he stood up. There was a tension in the atmosphere which he disliked greatly, the comfortable ease which they had previously shared appeared to have vanished.

"No thanks, I think I've had enough for one day," Sara watched as Nick picked up their cups and walked through to the kitchen quickly. _What was that, _she asked herself silently. Her heart was racing and she felt extremely flustered. It must be too much alcohol she said shaking her head, Nick and her were friends and that was it. There was no way he would think of her like that she concluded. Nick came back through with a cold beer in his hand and sat back in the chair where he'd been earlier. He felt for sure that he had just let slip telepathically that he had feelings for her.

"Nick, I'm done in, would you mind if I just went to bed?" She was feeling embarrassed about the thoughts she may or may not have just had about Nick.

"Sure, I mean I showed you where everything is so just make yourself at home. If you need anything just call on me, ok," Nick was sure she was trying to get away from him. She stood to leave and then turned around just as she reached the door.

"Thanks for today Nick, and not just for letting me stay and the help with everything else. I've never played hooky before," she smiled gingerly. "I had fun." With that she took off to the spare room. Nick smiled to himself, he knew that she had meant that. The fact that Sara had never taken a sickie before did not surprise him but the fact that she hadn't regretted it did. Sam started whining to get out so he left his beer and took him to the back door. When Sam came back in he made sure that the house was secure then made his way to bed. Sara's door was slightly ajar and Sam pushed his way in and jumped onto the bed where Sara was already sound asleep.

"Sam," he whispered, "come on boy, into your own bed." Sam refused to budge, it was as if he knew Sara needed to be kept safe. Nick stood at the door and gazed at Sara. She looked so peaceful lying there with the duvet cover pulled up over her shoulder. He eventually realised that he had been standing there for a little too long, he was being creepy he said to himself. He went through to his bedroom, got ready for bed then climbed under his sheets. He couldn't stop thinking about Sara though, not about the creep who was taunting her but about the look in her eyes when he had been sitting with her earlier. It was that look that stayed with him as he drifted off to sleep and that cropped up in his dreams during the restless sleep that he fell into.

As they slept they were both oblivious to the fact that someone was standing outside Nick's house. That person took a few steps up to the front door then opened the letter box. The can of gasoline had been heavy when they approached the house but it was now as light as a feather. A chuckle escaped from their lips as they lit the end of a newspaper with a match and shoved it through the hole.

"Burn in hell, Star, burn in hell," they said as they scarpered quickly from the already ablaze house.


	6. Chapter 6

Title – Keep Breathing

Category – Sara/Nick Romance, Thriller

Rating – PG

Disclaimer – I do not own CSI or any of its characters.

Author's notes – I haven't written any fanfic for years and have missed episodes of CSI so please excuse any mistakes regarding genuine storylines etc.

The fire spread through the front hall within seconds, engulfing the entrance with searing hot flames. Sam had heard a thud at the front door and he went to investigate, he was greeted by the suffocating scent of thick, black smoke. He instantly started barking and ran to Nick's bedroom before jumping onto his bed. He woke with a start just as the shrill sound of his smoke alarm stirred Sara from her dreamless sleep. They both jumped out of their respective beds and knew instantly that they were in trouble. Sara looked out of her door at Nick crouching opposite and copied his pose. He shouted at Sara over the loud sound of the alarm.

"Back door," he pointed to the door at the other end of the hall. The flames were high and moving rapidly towards them. Bright flames lit the corridor behind them as they rushed towards the direction of their planned escape. Nick grappled with the trio of locks which he had ironically installed for security. The first two opened easily but the second stuck, while he struggled Sara held tightly onto Sam's collar, the heat was becoming overpowering and the dense smoke was beginning to make her eyes sting. Finally the troublesome lock opened and they were let out into the cool, night air. Nick slammed the door behind them, the oxygen let in through the opened door had fanned the flames and the fire raged through Nick's house. A shocked Nick looked at Sara as he caught his breath, she looked as stunned as he felt.

"Nick, are you ok? Is everyone out?" John, Maggie's husband from next door was standing in his dressing gown shouting over the dividing fence.

"Yeah," was all that a still dumbstruck Nick could say through coughs. He pulled Sara towards him into a hug, he didn't know what had just happened but he was sensing that they had just had a very, lucky escape. He pushed Sara away just enough so that he could see her face, "You ok?" he asked urgently.

"I'm fine, are you?" He nodded and pulled her into another embrace, tighter this time. "What just happened?" she had been knocked for six.

"I think my house just caught fire," Nick joked, he released her from his arms and looked at his burning home. He could hear approaching sirens in the background and vaguely heard John telling Sara that he had phoned for help.

John jumped over the fence and guided the pair of them plus Sam around to the front of the house where the services were congregating. Nick and Sara were ushered into an ambulance where they were checked over and deemed to be fine, a few minutes later they were told that the fire brigade had managed to gain control over the fire. Nick who was worried about Sam asked if Maggie would take him to the emergency vet, she had him in the car and whisked away within fifteen seconds.

"Nick, I must have left the stove on. I'm so, so sorry," Sara's eyes brimmed with tears as she remembered cooking for Nick earlier on in the night. _As if I haven't bothered him enough over the past couple of days, now I have burned down his home. _

"Sidle, shut up right now. This was an accident, we don't even know what caused it," he said reassuringly. He was beginning to get over the shock and wonder what the hell had happened. They had cleaned up the kitchen together and he was sure that the stove had been turned off. He looked at Sara, sitting there in her pyjamas with a blanket wrapped around her and the only emotion he could feel was relief, relief that Sara was ok and sitting unharmed in front of him.

"Mr Stokes?" A fireman who introduced himself as 'The Chief' stood outside the ambulance with a serious look on his face.

"Yes, Sir," replied Nick in his usual polite, southern manner.

"Well, the good news is that the fire is out, it was pretty much contained to the hallway. There's a hell of a lot of smoke damage but structurally your house is sound." He paused slightly before he continued. "I believe you are with the crime lab?" he asked.

"Yeah, we both are," he responded, nodding towards Sara.

"Then I won't need to explain accelerants to you then." Nick frowned and tilted his head slightly, encouraging the chief to carry on. "There appears to have been something, probably gas, poured through your front door. You'll understand that we will need to do some work to corroborate this but we are pretty sure. I wouldn't be telling you this but in your line of work I think you should be aware that somebody was trying to hurt you."

Nick's eyes were wide with shock, he turned to Sara whose expression said it all. This was no accident. "Thank you for telling us Chief," he said to the fireman as he left to speak with his crew.

Sara's head was shaking as she caught Nick's eye. "It was him, I can't believe it, it was him." He moved so that he was sitting beside her, pulling her into yet another hug. _Ok, so it may be due to horrible circumstances but at least I'm getting to touch her, to be the one that comforts her. _

"We don't know who it was Sara, we'll find out though. I promise you that we will find out." Nick knew that the only way to protect her was to find out who had done this. He had never been so adamant about finding a culprit as he was at that very moment.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Nearly an hour had passed since Nick and Sara had been told about the cause of the fire. John had insisted that they come into his house while they waited for Maggie to let them know how Sam was. He kindly let them shower and change into the spare clothes which luckily they both kept in their cars. They were sitting in the kitchen when Maggie came home. She happily told them that the vet had given Sam a clean bill of health but wanted to keep him in overnight just to run some blood tests, just to be safe.

"Thank God," said Sara. "I would never have forgiven myself if something had happened to him." John gave Maggie a look which said 'I'll fill you in later,' they had been married for a long time and could practically read each other's minds. The doorbell rang and Maggie went to answer it. Nick topped Sara's cup up with some more tea from the teapot and handed it to her, she felt a wave of amazement wash over her. His house had just been ruined yet he was still looking after her. _How can I ever make this up to him? _she asked herself. A familiar voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Nick, Sara. Are you two alright?" Russell was making his way through to the kitchen and was closely followed by Finn.

Nick spoke for them both, something which Sara was very glad about. "We're both fine guys, honestly," he said as DB patted them both on the shoulders. "I'm guessing the fire guys let someone know that this was suspicious?"

Finn, who had given them both a heartfelt hug nodded, "yeah, we came right away. Do you know who did this?" She was curious as to why Sara had been sleeping at Nick's place but it wasn't the time to pry, someone had very nearly killed them both. Maggie and John left the four CSIs alone after putting fresh cups down for DB and Finn. They told them to take as long as they needed, they were genuinely the nicest neighbours in the world thought Sara.

Nick reached for Sara's hand, "I can tell them if you want?"

"No… it's ok," she smiled at Nick and squeezed his hand. She sighed heavily before she began, she hadn't wanted her colleagues to know about her past before but now things were different. Whoever this was could have killed Nick and Sam, she was beginning to feel less scared and more angry. She began by telling them about the first letter and then told them everything about her first husband. She didn't feel able to open up to them like she had to Nick, or even Greg but they now knew the horrific truth about that time in her life. After she had finished talking the room was filled with an uncomfortable silence. Her fellow CSIs were both speechless. They worked with her closely yet were completely unaware that she had had such a horrible personal involvement with a serial killer. "DB, I'm sorry that we lied about being sick tonight, I just wasn't ready to deal with it all."

DB lifted his hands in protest and shook his head, "You don't need to apologise Sara, thank you for opening up to us about all of this." He felt nothing but compassion and admiration for Sara, she'd had it rough yet she had made a success of her life. Finn too was amazed that all this had happened to her friend. Over her time in the lab she and Sara had gradually become close and she was full of anger that Sara was hurting at the hands of this creep.

Sara felt Nick's hand tighten around her own, she hadn't realised that she was still gripping onto it so tightly. He was proud of her for telling their friends everything, he knew how hard opening up was, especially for Sara – she was a private person.

"Well, we're not just here to catch up with you two," said Russell, "we have work to do." He was talking of course about their newest crime scene – Nick's house. "I have arranged for you both to go to a 'safe house,' a suite at a hotel somewhere in Vegas. No-one will follow you there, you have my word. Meanwhile, I'm going to get all of our best people to work on this."

"Wait, I mean I can help. I have dibs on this case – its mine!" Sara let go of Nick's hand and stood up angrily, she was not going to sit in some hotel while someone was out there playing with her. Nick grinned, this was the Sara that he knew and loved.

"You will not be working this case Sara," DB knew that he would be fighting a losing battle to refuse her any input in the case but she had just been though a trauma and she needed time to recover. "You can come in tomorrow morning and we will go through our findings with you, ok?"

"That's great DB, thanks," Nick stood up and gave Sara a look that said "that's the best we're going to get."

"Ok… ok thank you," Sara said with about as much gratitude as a she could muster. She knew deep down that this was what was best. Her colleagues were great at their jobs and she trusted them completely, she just wanted to be doing something she realised.

"Sit tight, we'll be in touch if we need anything," both DB and Finn gave them quick hugs before getting to work on Nick's house. Nick went to speak to Maggie and John to let them know that they were about to get their house back and Sara gazed out the window which looked onto Nick's house. She had been scared at the thought of Mark coming back but now that fear had turned into rage. Over two decades worth of dread and anxiety were gone and instead she felt a strength that she hadn't known existed. She knew that she had Nick to thank for this change, without his support she wouldn't have had the confidence to even consider confronting her demons. Sara was glad that he would be coming with her to the hotel, she didn't want to be alone.

"They're ready for us to leave now," Nick came back through to the kitchen and looked at his friend. The look of vulnerability had been replaced by one of determination. He was relieved to see the old Sara back.

"Let's go," she answered. Tomorrow they would get some answers, she was sure of it.


	7. Chapter 7

Title – Keep Breathing

Category – Sara/Nick Romance, Thriller

Rating – PG

Disclaimer – I do not own CSI or any of its characters.

Author's notes – I haven't written any fanfic for years and have missed episodes of CSI so please excuse any mistakes regarding genuine storylines etc.

Thanks again for the reviews, it's much more fun to write when you know someone is reading.

Russell and Finn had been working at Nick's house for a few hours when Greg and Morgan appeared.

"What are you two doing here?" DB asked, he had sent them home for some well needed sleep before he had heard about the fire. He had decided to wait before calling them, he needed his team to be on top form for this case.

"Dad was at mine when he heard," replied Morgan. "I decided to come right here, I picked up Greg on my way over, they're definitely alright aren't they?"

Greg stood back slightly, Ecklie and Morgan knew about the fire at Nick's house but they didn't know anything about Sara. He had tried to ring his friends on the way over but there had been no reply. He wasn't sure how much the older CSIs knew about this whole thing.

"They're fine, they've gone to a safe hotel for the night. Listen, this is likely to be more about Sara than Nick…" DB recounted the story that Sara had told them earlier. Finn had returned to the front door to finish getting the samples she needed, she didn't want to have to listen to the details of her friends past again. Morgan stood with a stunned expression on her face as she heard the grave story of Sara's first husband. "Greg, Sara told us that you were privy to this and that you looked into the first letter for her, are you sure that there was nothing at all that could help us?" Greg was relieved by his boss's tone, he obviously wasn't too angry that he had been doing personal work at the lab.

"Nothing at all, Nick was going to give me the second letter in the morning," he said nervously. Morgan frowned slightly, Greg had known about this and he hadn't told her, she was slightly angry, she could have helped.

"Well, we have the second letter here, luckily it hasn't been damaged – it was sealed in this," he handed the bag to Morgan. "Could you go to the lab and check it out please?"

She nodded and smiled. "Greg, Sara's apartment is going to need processed. I think she'd rather you did that. I'll send a couple of officers with you, it could be dangerous." He handed Greg Sara's keychain which had been in Nick's kitchen. "Guys it's always hard when a case involves one of our own but let's try our best to treat this as we would any other case," he hated the fact that someone had almost killed his friends but they were here as CSIs and he had to stay professional. He patted Greg and Brody on the back before they left, he was glad that they had come – they needed all hands on deck for this one.

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"Woo hoo, this is the life," Nick said as he flung himself down onto the luxurious sofa. "Who knew that the LVPD could stretch to this?" Sara glanced around and had to wonder just how they had ended up in such an amazing suite. They were in the pent house apartment of a new hotel with panoramic views of the city. The cops that had taken them from Nick's house had left and told them that they would be stationed outside the suite and just to shout if they needed anything. Sara walked over to the window and gazed out. "You looking for somewhere?" Nick asked.

"No, I was looking at all the lights. I was just thinking that I'd rather be looking out at a few stars than all of those millions of bulbs."

"I know that feeling," Nick replied as he walked over so he was standing beside her. "Where I grew up you could see nothing but stars at night. Whenever I had troubles I would look up and it would remind me that they were pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things."

"Yeah, I always did that too," she looked at her friend and gave him a half smile. "I can't even see one star right now," she squinted her eyes and looked up wistfully.

"I tell you what, once we figure all this out, me and you will go out to the desert. I know this great place where, if you get the right night, you can see nothing but stars. There's a lake and with the reflection it makes you feel as though you're in space."

"I'd love to Nick but I'm not sure that I'd feel completely comfortable going to your little make out spot with you," she teased. Nick felt a little angry at Sara's remark, he had genuinely wanted to take her to his favourite spot in Nevada but she hadn't seemed too keen.

"FYI Sidle, I have never taken anybody there," he replied defensively.

"I'm sorry Nick, I was just kidding," she knew she had offended him with her remark. "I'm just pretty sure that you could find yourself a hot date to take with you." She meant it, Nick was the nicest, sweetest, most handsome man that she knew, why he was still single she didn't know.

"Well, maybe I'd rather take you," he said honestly. Sara wasn't sure how to take this remark, she presumed he was kidding but something in his manner suggested otherwise.

"It's getting late, we need to try to get some sleep," she was beyond exhausted. "I'll take that room," she pointed towards a room off of the sitting area.

"Ok, good night Sara," he leaned over and kissed her cheek. It was an instinctive move that he instantly regretted. _Why the hell did you do that Nick Stokes, you just told her that you wanted to take her to your favourite place in the desert and now you are kissing her goodnight. Why did you do that?_

Sara had liked Nick's kiss, it had been sweet and innocent and very Nick like. She made her way to the bedroom and closed the door, Nick was still standing where she had left him – staring out of the window. She glanced at her watch, she had a few hours before she wanted to head to the crime lab. It had been another hard day and her mind was racing but the fact that Nick and her colleagues were on her side made it feel like a weight and a half had been lifted off of her shoulders. There was nothing that she could be doing at that moment so she decided to let herself sleep. She stripped down to her underwear and got under the covers, she eventually found the light switch and turned off the fancy lights. Once again, before she fell asleep, she thanked her lucky stars that Nick was with her. She would have been here all alone if it wasn't for him. How can I ever repay him, was her final thought before she fell into a very deep sleep.


End file.
